Are Your Goals Really Your Goals?

AKA why do I not want to do the things I think I want to do? (part 1 of a billion)

So one of the things we’ll be looking at a lot in this blog is why we don’t achieve the goals we set for ourselves. Today, we’re going to look at it one of the biggest reasons:

We don’t achieve our goals, because they aren’t actually our goals.

You’re probably thinking that makes no sense, but I promise it will!

A lot of times, we create goals because we want to be better at what society expects from us. These goals are normally along the lines of be thin, be fit, have a high paying career, be married with kids, wear stylish clothing, etc.

None of those things are inherently bad goals – they can be great goals! – but a lot of times we have no personal investment in achieving those things.

A perfect example for me is losing weight. For the longest time, I was worried all the time about how much I weighed. I would track calories, meal plan, but inevitably fall off the wagon and then beat myself up about it. Here’s the truth though. I don’t actually want to be skinny – I just feel like I should be. Realistically, at no point in my life will being skinny be worth more than eating bread is worth to me. If I could magically just be skinny without any effort, I would absolutely take that deal, but I know myself enough to know that I’m unwilling to commit to the things it will take. And that’s okay.

What I do want to be is strong. I want to have a body that tries new things, because I’m not afraid I’ll be too weak to do them. I want to be strong, because I want to feel safer in my own skin. I want to be strong, because I want to be able to explore the world. These are all things that motivate and inspire me, and allow me to really work towards my goal of becoming stronger.

So. Go through your goals. Really take some time to think about them. Ask yourself why you have this goal. If the only answer you can come up with is “because I feel like I should” or “because it’s expected of me” or “because I don’t want to let people down,” cross it off your list! Another answer you’ll come across is “because it will make me happy” – if that’s the deepest you can get, I promise you it will not be enough.

Once you get rid of the goals that don’t deeply inspire you, then you’ll be able to be so much more productive with the ones you have left!

I’d love for you to share in the comments a goal that you’ve crossed off your list!

 

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